You've Got Mail!
by SauceKay Kun
Summary: The 7 Deadly Sins walk among us everyday. For Haruno Sakura, her work place was no exception.SasuSaku AU.


I know PM style fics have been flowing around a lot, but I had to get it out of my head. xD  
It's mainly rated M for cursing and occasional sexual themes. Please enjoy!

/.\

**1: Pride  
**_**Love**__ of __**self**__ perverted to __**hatred**__ and __**contempt**__ for one's neighbor._

* * *

**Subject: **_Urgent matter  
_**From: **_Uchiha Itachi  
_**To: **_All__  
12:38 AM_

Due to the little…_ incident _in the photocopying room, that may I remind you all happened yesterday, there shall be a drastic dismissal of employees, meaning, yes, that many of you _will _be fired. _Today._  
And what happened yesterday may _never_ happen _again. _I am looking at you, Uzumaki.  
And for _fuck's sake, _take that jacket off. You make our company look bad.

Get back to work. I'll be calling some of you in a few minutes. _Uchiha Itachi, CEO._

**Subject: **_Holy shit  
_**From: **_ Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_Yamanaka Ino, Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata  
__12:51 AM_

Well, it was nice working with you guys. I'm pretty sure I'll be called in there and clean my desk soon enough. I'm calm; it's just the waiting that's killing me.  
Even though it was _you, _Naruto, who started the whole mess, but hey, I ain't even mad.  
Ino, I'll come by to your house later, is that 'kay?

**Subject: **_RE: Holy shit__  
_**From: **_Yamanaka Ino  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura  
__12:57 AM_

Are you actually serious? Just what the hell happened yesterday, anyway? I heard it was pretty awful, like, what did that stupid moron do _this _time?  
I'm sure you won't get fired, Sak. I mean, supposedly even _**him **_got involved into the whole mess.  
And of course, bby. I'll make us some of that good, ol' tequila mix you love ;)

**Subject: **_RE: Holy shit  
_**From: **_Hyuuga Hinata  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino  
__12:59 AM_

Sakura-chan, Naruto-kun didn't come to work today; I'm afraid something bad happened to him or maybe he's just afraid? Either way, :'(.  
A-and I'm sure Uchiha-san will understand the situation once you explain it to him, righ-  
Hold on, _**he**_ just arrived. He's going to your floor.  
He's laughing hysterically... it's kind of creepy.

I'll talk to you two soon; Tsunade-san is frowning at me from her office!

**Subject: **_RE: Holy shit  
_**From: **_ Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_ Yamanaka Ino  
__13:03 PM_

Fuck. Fucker is probably grinning like a retard. I swear, if **he** comes here, all proud and swaying like a little bitch, I'll throw myself from this floor's window. I think it's high enough for an instant death, wouldn't you agree? Just fucking call me already and don't make me go through the embarrassment, Itachi. Ajhfkagafsf;;

Promise you'll cry at my funeral, pig.

**Subject: **_lol  
_**From: **_Yamanaka Ino  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura  
__13:06 PM_

Omg lol, I can see you pulling your hair from here.  
And actually, I can see _**him**_opening the door as I'm typing this. Don't turn around; he's swaying his way to his spot and, if you don't mind me adding, with the smuggest, _proudest _look I've ever seen on him. I'm not even kidding, haha.  
I just love your suffering Sakura. I'm sorry, but _damn. _How can you hate _**that?  
**_Good luck having _**him **_around you xD

**Subject: **_RE: lol  
_**From: **_Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_Yamanaka Ino  
__13:08 PM_

Ino, you can kindly go screw yourself.

**Subject: **_Attention all personnel  
_**From: **_Uchiha Itachi  
_**To: **_All  
__13:15 PM_

This is a warning that I'll start calling people one by one. If your name is called, please make your way to my office immediately.

_Uchiha Itachi, CEO._

**Subject: **_(none)  
_**From: **_ Uchiha Sasuke  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura  
__13:19 PM_

Haha. _Hahahahaha. __**HAHAHAHAHA.  
**_What more can I say? Ah, _yes.  
HAHA._

_If _you're lucky enough, Itachi will give you a nice bonus. Then again, I don't see a reason for that. I also won't lie and say it was _wonderful _working with you; I can't wait to see your _stinking_, _filthy, unworthy_ little ass out of here.

**Subject: **_.l.  
_**From: **_Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_Uchiha Sasuke  
__13:25 PM_

No subject? Aww. Well, I put something there for you pleasure only. ;)  
And you certainly didn't need to include the laughing, you twat; I could PERFECTLY hear YOU, since you're right BEHIND me.  
You're so, _so cruel, Uchiha-san. _And good to know that you think that way about my ass; I've heard worse.

Oh, but Itachi already gives me bonuses everyday,_ sweetheart_. Ha, get it? No? Ah well, if you didn't, I'm totally screwing your brother._  
_Ah! But do tell me, _Uchiha-san_, when was the last time _you_ got promoted? How's it like to be a Marketing Director for what, almost 3 years know? (Ouch!) I thought being the little brother of the CEO had its benefits. Maybe _you _should be the one screwing with Itachi ;D

Now shut your little mouth and go emo around in a corner or something. I want to be in total Zen when my name gets called.

_Peace out._

**Subject: **_(.y.)  
_**From: **_Uchiha Sasuke  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura  
__13:31 PM_

How classy of you, Haruno. Oh _please, _do continue; your little games amuse me to no end.  
Really, how do you manage to go by everyday with such posture? It horrifies me to no end knowing that people like you walk around in this company like that. And you do know that _worse _is _bad_, right?

At least _I get promoted. _(_Ouch._)  
But yet, you manage to outdo yourself and disgust me yet again; whatever you do outside these doors are none of my concern or interest, so do yourself a favor and behave when talking to _me. _I am your superior, after all. And really, how old are you?

And just so you know, I don't need to do favors to succeed in life; unlike you, it seems.

Itachi has already kicked out 5 people. I'm done talking to you.

_Peace out, bitch._

**Subject: **_Christ  
_**From: **_Yamanaka Ino  
_**To: **_Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata  
__13:40 PM_

Get a fucking room, you two. I can hear you both grunting from the other side of the room.

Yo, Hinata, Naruto just arrived; want me to give him the message?

**Subject: **_RE: Christ  
_**From: **_Hyuuga Hinata  
_**To: **_Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke  
__13:44 PM_

G-grunting? Who's grunting? W-what's going on there…?

No, that's alright; he'll pass through this floor, I'll give it myself. Thank you though!  
And, uh, Uchiha-san, y-you're needed in this floor. Tsunade-san asked for your presence.

**Subject: **_Attention Personnel  
_**From: **_Uchiha Itachi  
_**To: **_All  
13:55 PM_

I decided to be generous to our veterans and _only fire _the novices who were involved in the incident; don't expect such generosity from me again.

Have a good afternoon. _Uchiha Itachi, CEO._

**Subject: **_Hmm  
_**From: **_Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto_  
_14:00 PM_

Hey, I wasn't called.  
I WASN'T CALLED! :D

And you just dodged a bullet, Naruto. Like, _really._

**Subject: **_(sips tea)  
_**From: **_Haruno Sakura  
_**To: **_Uchiha Sasuke  
__14:06 PM_

Well.  
How can I simply put this.  
Ha_. Haha_. _**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.**__**  
**__Ha._

_Slut._

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**/.\  
**Well, there you have it. I love PM style stories, so I had to make one myself. What do you think? xD  
Give me a review and please, tell me what do you think? More to come next week!


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